An Open Letter To the Braintrust Behind the Pirates Walkout:

Congrats, you suck. All this hype (Which, by the way, I didn't know about until about 10 minutes started), trying to get all Bucco fans ANGRY and RILED UP about how bad the organization is, and you get a measly 100 people to walkout? And then return to their seats later the next inning? Come on man, we talkin' bout PRAC-tice.

It was April 2006, just a year and change ago, when I remember watching Michael Keaton, lifelong Pirates fan and shitty actor (though I haven't seen him as Batman, which I hear is great), bitching on opening day about how bad the Pirates organization is. Well guess what...I don't care! Quit complaining!

You guys are the public. You can stop coming to games, and that will make the organization lose some money, but you don't own the team and can't make other Pirates fans just magically stop coming.

Listen, I'm a man who enjoys a good Bucco's game, and I think that College Night is an amazing deal. Your team plays in the best park in the league, and this coming from someone whose been to a lot of parks. But honestly, you plan a walkout on a day when your team's best pitcher is pitching? Dumb bastards. Gorzelanny is the only Pirates pitcher worth a shit, but sure, that sounds like a great idea, walk out when he starts.

Also, though I know you may not have been able to plan who was pitching, you could plan who they were playing. The Nationals? The fucking lowly, shit of the Earth, used to be the Expos Washington Nationals? Couldn't you have picked a rivalry game or something? Though in the Michael Vick dogfight that is the NL Central, I can understand it may be hard to find a rival.

This letter is in no way shitting on the Pirates. As I said, I love the Pirates, and I'm a Philly sports fan. Come on, how can you hate on a team where you can see a AAA team with an average age of 17 (I still swear Gorzelanny is 14) play an MLB team for $8? Plus, you get to see 'Professor' Xavier Nady play, and he's awesome.

I just don't see the logic behind this walkout. YOU ALREADY PAID FOR TICKETS!!! And you honestly think that your average WASP family of four is going to walk out with their kids 3 innings into the game? Yeah, I understand your organization sucks, but at least Pat Gillick isn't your GM and your team doesn't have a chance each season. Being a Phils fan, I know they won't make the playoffs, but they keep my hopes up all season. You guys know you aren't going anywhere from day one.

Enjoy your beautiful ballpark, and enjoy a nice game of baseball. One day, ownership will change, but small market teams have a seriously bad chance of winning ever. Hell, I still don't know how the Florida Marlins have won multiple championships. Maybe you guys should compare notes.

Kind Regards,
Grant.

P.S. I think this picture is of Tim Bagatti during the Steelers Riot. Which is awesome. I'll get back to you on whether or not that is him.