Are You Trying to Sell Me Haitians in a Cuban Wrapper?


The world may stop holding its breath. Children may return to school and our regularly scheduled programming will resume. All the members of the Haitian U17 soccer team who attempted to defect to the US in the last day or so have "pussied-out," so to speak, and have returned to their team and, eventually to the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Personally, I find the most amazing part of this story is that anyone actually came back. How do you work up the balls to defect from your fucking country and then sour on the idea within a matter of days?

Leave it to the Cubans to show their Carribean neighbors to really defect. The most interesting part of the story is its contrast with the Haitian one; there are no concerned parties (granted, we're not talking sixteen-year olds in this one) or miffed diplomats. Apparantly the Cuban government's attitude towards defecting athletes has now been officially redefined as "fuck 'em."

Furthermore, coach Raul Gonzalez is now my linguistic hero. I oneday also hope to answer questions by first angrily stating that I will not answer it, thank you very much, and then directly answering it with a bizzare, borderline nonsensical Daoist sayings. You have been put on notice, people I know.

Sometimes you just can't find an appropriate picture. Sometimes you use a picture from "Song of the South." Can you feel the inherent racism in the air tonight?

1 Responses to “Are You Trying to Sell Me Haitians in a Cuban Wrapper?”

  1. # Blogger J Cramer

    This happens every year during the Gold Cup. Once the Cuban team enters Miami two of the dudes immediately say "I'm out". Then they go down to South Beach to party with Pitbull or somebody else from Cuba.

    Here is the best part these guys never make it even into the MLS. They play in like the USL with the Miami Fusion or Storm or Traffickers, whatever the fuck they are called.

    We should let every country that could possibly have defectors play in the Gold Cup. Darfur, DR Congo bring it on.

    America is great!! Now sell Rick Ross some pants bitch.  

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