I Thought This Was America

This just in: Major League Baseball has declared war on the city of Chicago. No word yet what this has to do with the ongoing steroid investigation. Jason Giambi could not be reached for comment as he was dousing himself with water at the time.

Ted Lilly was ejected from a game against the Braves on Sunday night a mere two outs into the first inning. When questioned as to why he ejected Lilly without warning, home plate umpire Jim Wolf claimed he "knew [Lilly] would do it" and that he was "waiting for it". Umm. Alright. Apparently Jim Wolf can now see the future.

Following Lilly's ejection, Atlanta's Edgar Renteria punched Mike Fontenot in the face on a hard slide into second base. Renteria was allowed to stay in the game.

Lilly's ejection comes on the heels of two noteworthy Chicago suspensions this past week. Last Sunday, Cub's manager Lou Pinella was suspended for kicking dirt onto third base umpire Mark Wegner. On Saturday, Chicago White Sox's A.J. Pierzynski was suspended one game for throwing a batting helmet in the general vicinity of the home plate umpire in a game against the Yankees.

There you have it. Cold, hard facts. The man is keeping the Second City down. Look for Bud Selig to suspend Tank Johnson an additional eight games in the 2007 season.

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