Canadian Beer Sucks Too

Its time for my favorite sporting event, a USA-Canada international. Most of the time this epic battle gets relegated to the ice where the Canucks dominate us in hockey. Every once in a while though we get the maple syrup lovers in a game that we can dominate (see the ass whipping the original Dream Team put on Canada at the old Alamo Dome in 1992).

The semi-finals of the Gold Cup have drawn the United States and Canada. Canada has been a somewhat surprising semifinalist. Led by Julian De Guzman of Deportivo La Coruna they have played some of the best football in the tournament. On the other hand the US National Team has played well enough to win. The big question is can the Canadians playing the best football their country has seen beat a US team that looks like shit?

Quite frankly (STEPHEN A SMITH) all the US team needs to do is show up to win the game. Don't let any of the hype by the socialist Canadian media worry you. The US should win by sheer force of our developed military industrial complex. While the Canadian National Team sits back complaining about our every move and watching Trailer Park Boys the US is driving towards world domination. We are trying to spread democracy while the Canadians are busy giving old people cheap medication, you hear that cheap medication. Next thing you know good wholesome American teenage dramas will be replaced with Degrassi and all its incarnation. I'll tell you this Canada I don't need somebody with a funny accent telling the youth of America about date rape.

Its a slippery slope with the Canadians and their backwards culture and we can stop this by a total victory in Chicago.

My prediction Canada wins 2-1 on a goal by Dwayne De Rosario. Don't blame me when your kids are wearing Maple Leafs jersey's, listening to Avril Lavigne, and drinking Labatt Blue I tried to warn you.

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