This post is meant as a handy guide to UCLA fans who wish to keep up with the fast-paced repartee going on right now over at Deadspin's UCLA - Pitt comments section. Here's a two minute (more or less) list of things you need to know about Pitt's (formerly) finest fraternity, Delta "Dirty" Phi:

1. For a period of time in the early nineties, had a small Korean man (pictured in a full-on kilt costume) who was not a brother as their mascot.

2. Once got their asses stomped by a street gang at one of their own parties over the attempted date-rape of a girl. The next day, the house looked like a burned-out warehouse.

3. Legendary dropout "Froch" once broke his nose of consecutive days. The first one was in a fight, the second was simply by somehow falling down the stairs and smashing his face into the wall.

4. Would utter sentences such as "We're having a small get-together tonite, just friends and family. We only got, like, ten kegs."

5. Bought so much Pabst Light in the course of a semester that the PBR headquarters noticed it and inquired to local beer distributors why they were selling more PBR Light in Oakland than in pretty much the rest of the country combined.

6. Gradutes "Dirty Greg" and J.D. are one hundred percent of the reason Pitt Program Council no longer has those weekend trips to Niagara Falls. Seriously.

7. Dirty Phi has completly fallen from grace to the point that its just another fraternity. The debauchery, alcoholism, drugs, brawls and obscenity that once made it the greatest place in Western Pennsylvania have fallen by the wayside. R.I.P. If anyone would like to say anything else about the Mighty Phi, please leave it in the comments section.