Joey Barton Is My Favorite Soccer Player Ever

Joey Barton is the heart and soul of the Manchester City midfield. Defensively, he is the best English-born midfielder by far (Owen Hargreaves go play for Canada you were born in Calgary). He is a great passer and without his presence in the midfield Man City would be solidly in the drop zone (they currently are in 17th 6 points from the drop). Recently he has been called up to the England squad as "Big Red" Steve McClaren tries to figure out more ways to play Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard out of position.

Barton's skillful playing aside the reason why he is the future of English football is his already legendary temper. A couple of incidents in Joey Barton's career that lead a rational person to believe that he needs anger management classes;

1. On a preseason friendly tour in Thailand the Man City midfielder punches a schoolboy Thai fan during a altercation at a hotel. The altercation was over friendly banter between the kid, who was an Everton fan, and Barton over his play in a match between the two teams a day before. Remember, Barton is a grown man who has the body of a professional soccer player. HE PUNCHED A KID FROM THAILAND.

2. After the disappointing World Cup performance of England, Barton mocks all the player's who cash in and write biographies of their experience in Germany. He paraphrased all their books by saying "we played like shit read this for 200 pages". Great job playing the political game to get on the national team. He has since been called up but hasn't made amends with any players and isn't likely to figure much in the Euro 2008.

3. His half-brother is a convicted axe murderer. I'll leave that one alone.

4. Today he was arrested on the belief that a month ago over a taxi fare he got into fight with a taxi driver in Liverpool. The taxi was damaged and Barton took a swing at the taxi driver before leaving the scene.


So next time you read stories about NFL players getting arrested for beating up strippers, remember Joey Barton. Barton brings back memories of a day when athletes would get drunk and fight important people like Thai teenagers and taxi drivers from Liverpool.

2 Responses to “Joey Barton Is My Favorite Soccer Player Ever”

  1. # Blogger Freshman

    In all fairness, he probably thought the Thai kid wanted to re-enact a scene from Ong-Bak, so therefore its not his fault the punk didn't have the stones to finish the job.  

  2. # Blogger Jason Cramer

    In fairness to Barton it was like 4 hours after a game so he was probably ripped.  

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