Alex Ferguson, I Am Not Afraid Of You And Will Beat Your Ass

Before we jump into the meat of this post, I thought I'd run down why its been so long since I posted. In the last week, I have worked sixteen straight hours at the bar, co-wrote a play in which Grant had to utter the line "Sit down or I will skull-fuck your leukemia out of remission," and gone a full 72 hours without showering or changing underwear.
I came out of my sleepless, drunken, sleepless weekend (and by weekend, I mean the time from last Thursday until about 4:15 today when I finally got in the shower) to find out that Alex Ferguson decided that he'd had enough of those Hammers and wanted to rest his stars for the Chelsea game so he could bring out the full squad for the season finale with West Ham. I am completely okay with this. I just hope Cristiano Ronaldo runs full tilt into a goalpost and permanently loses his sense of balance.
I don't really see what Sir Alex is doing here. He claims it's to avoid some possible embarrassment, but would losing to West Ham be any more or less embarrassing at this point in the season than losing to, say, Fulham? And do you really think Man U would even bother to roll out the A-team for a season-ending game against a sixteenth place team? I think I'm too angry to discuss this coherently.
The main source of my anger comes from the little schoolgirls that run Fulham, Charlton, Sheffield United and Wigan. Let it go. Minus Fulham, you are horrible, horrible football clubs. Spend the money you're spending on high-priced attorneys on decent players, for Christ's sake. Where's the outcry over FIFA waiving the no-more-than-two-clubs-a-year rule for Javier Mascherano? It seems you don't really care about the integrity of the game and its rules as long as it doesn't mess with those TV-money checks that roll in once a year. Your problem is not two Argentinians who brought in illegally by previous management, it's the fact that you are very, very bad at your jobs. You smell and I hate you. At least someone in Watford's management team had the class to go down like reasonable human beings.
Apparently I can't discuss this rationally either. Therefore, I will give you the following video to the greatest metal song ever recorded. Both B. and I are in agreement that it's the real-life "Stonehenge."Here you are.

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