In Week Four of college football, the playoff picture finally takes shape. And by "playoff picture" I mean four schools that were ranked highly in the preseason have yet to lose and are now the only schools with a shot at the National Title. Hooray BCS! Meanwhile, every other team looks unimpressive.

In the NFL people continue to assume that the Chargers are a good team for no apparent reason. And as always I pretend there is no Monday Night game because I don't feel like waiting to write this.


College
In which we discover that Tim Tebow is all man


Oklahoma 62, Tulsa 21

In a weekend in which the SEC reminds us all who the best conference is, Oklahoma goes ahead and reminds us that they don't have to play anyone all season. Except Texas. So yeah, no one.

USF 37, UNC 10

South Florida being declared "this year's Boise State" begins in three, two...

Syracuse 38, Louisville 35

For three weeks the Orange Persons looked like they could be the worst team at the Division 1 Bowl Subdivision level (yes, including Notre Dame). Then a L'ville team that has been shaky-at-best all season long goes ahead and does their version of Michigan/App. St. And to think, Brian Brohm could be collecting checks in the NFL right now.

Michigan 14, Penn State 9

Good to see Michigan finally getting a game at home.

LSU 28, South Carolina 16

In this week's lone intriguing match-up, LSU proved why they look like the best team in the country. Not that it matters right now. The SEC will most likely beat up on each other leaving the two teams with no competition in their respective conferences (Oklahoma and USC) to march into the BCS title game.

Michigan State 31, Notre Dame 14

Did you hear about this!?! ND has started off 0-4 for the first time ever! Why is no one talking about this!?! This Jimmy Clausen kid should still get the Heisman!

Wisconsin 17, Iowa 13

Congratulations, Big Ten. Feel free to join the Big East over there in the area for Conferences That Don't Matter in 2007.


The National Football League
In which Brett Favre continues to make a case for my assertion that he should be on the one-dollar bill


Green Bay 31, San Diego 24

So everyone realizes that Norv Turner coaches the Chargers now. Alright then, just checking.

Baltimore 26, Arizona 23

Matt Leinart has to be embarrassed after being replaced by the corpse of Kurt Warner.

New England 38, Buffalo 7

In the near future we will all look back for the moment in which the NFL jumped the proverbial shark and we will decide that moment was this past week. The Pats had won two games, and had lost none. They had scored 38 points in both contests. And by Wednesday it was a mortal lock that they were going to somehow pull off a feat that has never happened and go 16-0. Anyway, they score 38 and win yet again. 3-0? This franchise might not ever lose again. We might as well just pack up the league and start watching soccer.

Philadelphia 56, Detroit 21

In the same way that most of us have learned not to - under any circumstances - taunt Steve Smith, we must now understand a similar premise about Donovan McNabb: never, ever question his quarterbacking skills anymore than you would that of a similarly talented white QB.

Oakland 26, Cleveland 24

Only 24 points? Bench Anderson! Bring in Brady Quinn!

Pittsburgh 37, San Francisco 16

Hey! Look at those Pats go. Seriously, pay no attention to what's going on over here. You needn't worry about it. Just go back to wild speculation and just pencil that New England team in for their fourth ring.

Carolina 27, Atlanta 20

During Sunday's NY/Washington game on FOX, the studio cut in to bring us footage of Joey Heisman's first TD toss of the season. Immediately after Troy Aikman exclaimed "Joey Harrington! I've been telling you, he's the guy! Been saying it for years now." The lesson here is this: Troy Aikman is still concussed. Should we be worried? He should probably have that checked out.

Dallas 34, Chicago 10

Not to go all Mariotti here, but how much longer can the Bears put up with The Sex Cannon? Not only has he completely dismantled Chicago's offense, he's also killing the defense because they're out there for the entire game. If this team had even a semi-decent QB they'd be Super Bowl bound yet again. And I know it's the NFC and anything can happen, but they're simply wasting one of the best defenses in recent memory. Meanwhile Dallas pulls away from the pack and becomes the de-facto Team To Beat in the NFC.